Our world is in a crisis. Families are in crisis. The demand of changing values has descended upon the home today in America. Family commitment is more unthinkable, and stable family relationships are becoming more impossible. The home is under attack!
God’s Word says, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 NIV
At Victory Church, this is the reason we designate the 2nd Sunday of every month to the family. Last Sunday my wife joined me on stage as we had a casual conversation on parenting. Below are a few (certainly not an exhaustive list) “Secrets to Successful Parenting” which we shared with our Victory family. I hope you find value in time spent reading this blog post.
Of all the jobs you’ll have in your lifetime, none will be more rewarding or challenging than parenting. As your children grow each day—getting bigger physically, developing their unique personalities, and inching toward independence — you’ll be their teacher, counselor, disciplinarian, intercessor, coach, cheerleader, and much more.
Think about it: That young life you’re shaping will be an ADULT not many years from now. He will likely be a husband and father, or she will be a wife and mother. They’ll approach life in much the same way that they experienced it in their childhoods when you were raising them. Your influence will flow into the next generation and the next; and beyond.
Feeling as though you could use some help? As parents, we all feel that way sometimes. And we’re right: we do need help. Obviously God thinks so; He’s devoted much of His written Word, the Bible, to instructing parents how to raise our children and warning us what could happen if we neglect our responsibility. Your success as a parent hinges on developing a positive relationship with your children.
Here are three tips to help you become a successful parent:
SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN
It’s not enough just to be physically around your kid – you need to be with them completely. No Xbox, Playstation or new iPhone can replace the bonding that the child truly needs.
It’s NOT about buying them stuff …. (they like the box better!) … it’s about being with them! Communicate with them openly. Listening carefully. Play games they like. Do things they like together. Your child will not only love you more, but will also learn how to be a considerate and caring person.
Just be around them completely!
EXPRESS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO YOUR CHILDREN
A positive relationship with your children is grounded in their knowledge that you love them unconditionally.
Ephesians 6:4 (ESV) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:14 (ESV) And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
How to show your children unconditional love:
1. Tell them you love them.
Tell your children OFTEN that you love them! It’s music to their ears. Even if you have a hard time expressing your emotions, tell them anyway! So they’ll never have to question how you feel about them.
2. Give hugs often.
Parents are often a child’s first role model for appropriate physical affection. Start early giving hugs and kisses. These interactions express your love for your children just like saying the words ‘I love you.’
When you are having a conversation with your child, be sure that you listen attentively to what they have to say. If you are distracted by other people or things when talking with your children, you’ll be sending them signals that your love has limits, and what they have to say is not that important. And that’s a message you don’t want them to hear.
4. Spend time together.
From fun activities like going to the park, to less appealing chores like cleaning the garage. Spending time together increases feelings of affection between family members.
5. Show love even when they misbehave.
It’s pretty easy to express our love and affection when our child is making straight A’s and behaving perfectly. It’s extra important that we tell our children that we love them when they have done something wrong.
BE INVOLVED IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE AT ALL AGES
Many parents are involved in the lives of their children when they are young, but that involvement often decreases as the children get older. Building a relationship with your children requires a commitment to being vitally involved in teaching, training, and guiding them in God’s ways.